I’m excited for this series, what a great idea! I have a question / wrinkle to this approach, however - by no means do I have the societal ideal of a body, but one my kids has commented in the past that she wants her stomach to become smaller to look more like mine and her sister’s 😢. In a way, I guess I worry that her looking at my exposed body has not a supportive but a stressful effect, at least when she’s in this headspace. I’m curious to hear any thoughts you have on this.
The dilemma you mentioned is indeed a wrinkle, but a call to collective action! The more of us that join you on the beach, the more access your daughter has to evidence that bellies like hers exist! Our bodies won't always be able to give our kids camaraderie...this puts ever more pressure on you to find her the representation she needs. But there are still SO many ways you will be able to support her body image resilience, including holding space for her when she talks about her envy of your body (and her sisters). I could absolutely see why you making an effort NOT to flaunt your body in her presence may be an attuned move, especially if it seems to increase her body preoccupation, but only you will be able to feel out the vibe. If you stay connected and emotionally availability to her, you can't go wrong. No matter what your body -- and her feelings about it -- is part of her journey. Also, I am so glad you like the idea of this series! Your feedback and engagement is very much appreciated, Ariel!
Thank you! Yes, I’ve been thinking so much about representation. It’s really heartbreaking to see how warped her view already is by society - like she’ll tell me she’s so much bigger than everyone in her ballet class but there actually are several children of a similar-ish build, and an teenage assistant teacher too… I have the sense she’s discounting them because she has already decided they also have unlikable bodies. It’s just so hard. I remember you talking on IG a while back about paying close attention to whether an extracurricular was doing harm… I’m thinking about that a lot these days. Anyway, yes to all of the holding space and THANK YOU for the work you are doing!!
Ballet carries a lot of “occupational hazards.” The mirror…the leotards…the body comparisons…oof. It also really distorts one’s sense of what a typical body is, because the ballet body traditionally is so specific and unusual. We shall talk much more about this…
I’m excited for this series, what a great idea! I have a question / wrinkle to this approach, however - by no means do I have the societal ideal of a body, but one my kids has commented in the past that she wants her stomach to become smaller to look more like mine and her sister’s 😢. In a way, I guess I worry that her looking at my exposed body has not a supportive but a stressful effect, at least when she’s in this headspace. I’m curious to hear any thoughts you have on this.
The dilemma you mentioned is indeed a wrinkle, but a call to collective action! The more of us that join you on the beach, the more access your daughter has to evidence that bellies like hers exist! Our bodies won't always be able to give our kids camaraderie...this puts ever more pressure on you to find her the representation she needs. But there are still SO many ways you will be able to support her body image resilience, including holding space for her when she talks about her envy of your body (and her sisters). I could absolutely see why you making an effort NOT to flaunt your body in her presence may be an attuned move, especially if it seems to increase her body preoccupation, but only you will be able to feel out the vibe. If you stay connected and emotionally availability to her, you can't go wrong. No matter what your body -- and her feelings about it -- is part of her journey. Also, I am so glad you like the idea of this series! Your feedback and engagement is very much appreciated, Ariel!
Thank you! Yes, I’ve been thinking so much about representation. It’s really heartbreaking to see how warped her view already is by society - like she’ll tell me she’s so much bigger than everyone in her ballet class but there actually are several children of a similar-ish build, and an teenage assistant teacher too… I have the sense she’s discounting them because she has already decided they also have unlikable bodies. It’s just so hard. I remember you talking on IG a while back about paying close attention to whether an extracurricular was doing harm… I’m thinking about that a lot these days. Anyway, yes to all of the holding space and THANK YOU for the work you are doing!!
Ballet carries a lot of “occupational hazards.” The mirror…the leotards…the body comparisons…oof. It also really distorts one’s sense of what a typical body is, because the ballet body traditionally is so specific and unusual. We shall talk much more about this…