When body-positivity is a genuine liability

Scripts, strategies, and safeguards to handle our biggest skeptics

Christina is a Kindergarten teacher and mom of 2 in NYC who has followed me on Instagram for years. She uses her Instagram page as a personal blog to show how she navigates diet culture when it shows up in her classroom and promotes body neutrality, self love, and her prize winning children’s book, Embrace Your Features. I felt lucky to receive a copy, along with a sweet magnet that still hangs on my office white board. 

I woke up the other day with a DM from her that read:

Hi Zoë,

Can you please help me and report the YouTube video made about me. It’s defamation of character. I’m so upset. He’s calling for me to be fired. I’m a mess.”

-Christina

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I won’t include the Youtube video she references here, because frankly it’s disgusting and it doesn’t deserve additional views, but here's the gist: 

A middle-aged white man, with a very small subscriber count, goes on a 17-minute diatribe ….tearing down a reel Christina had posted on social media. With smug, moral authority he explains that he was once “morbidly obese” —miserable and allegedly too foolish to see that the adults shaming him were actually trying to save him. Now, having "fixed" himself, he’s here to save the next generation from people like Christina—people who dare to teach kindergartners that their bodies aren’t problems to be solved and that all foods can fit into a balanced diet. 

Frame by frame, he twists her message into some kind of anti-health propaganda. In reality, Christina is simply demonstrating how she replaces diet-culture-loaded books—like those that promote "burning off junky food calories"—with alternatives that actually encourage a positive, curious relationship with food, such as Becoming a Food Explorer (one of my personal favorites).

The whole thing gives internet troll on steroids vibes, but I can understand why it gutted Christina. He doesn’t just insult her, he makes a sinister call to action for parents to report her to the school board, framing her as a dangerous influence for teaching kids that their bodies are worthy of respect. 

A harsh attack like this one is not just an attack on Christina — it's an attempt to discredit and undermine the very idea of bringing body-positivity into conversations with young people. It also highlights the vulnerability of doing this work in a culture that too often mistakes self-acceptance for self-neglect.

In addition to a lot of compassion for Christina, here is what you will find in my response:

• A productive way to think about harsh and critical responses to our body-positive nurturing efforts 

• My genuine concerns about introducing Body-Positivity to youth and parents, without appropriate disclaimers and safeguards 

• Scripts and strategies for how to effectively engage with body-positivity skeptics and critics

• A nuclear option for bridge-building with deeply anti-Fat folks

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  FYI: my answers here are for educational and informational purposes only, aren’t a substitute for medical or mental-health advice, and don’t constitute a provider-patient relationship.

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Dear Christina,

I am so sorry this is happening to you. Yes, I will absolutely report the YouTube video for defamation. His blatant misrepresentation and attempt to silence your effort to boost body image resilience in schools is unacceptable. You don’t deserve this.

Please don’t fall for the fear mongering. There is an enormous amount of hate, ignorance, and self-loathing oozing out of this guy’s mouth, and the best thing you can probably do for your mental health is report, block, and then spend some time offline. 

Videos like these are designed to encourage self-censorship among educators, which will only undermine the trust you've worked hard to build with parents. The kids you nurture can’t afford to lose you. To be clear, you have done absolutely nothing wrong. The fear that affirming all bodies — Fat bodies in particular — will somehow damage children’s health is a common source of outrage. But I want to leave you with more than just sympathy. When you're ready, I've outlined some tactical guidance that may help you feel even sturdier as you continue to navigate controversial topics in your teaching and personal life.

Learn to lean into harsh criticism 

Admittedly, I have a somewhat adversarial spirit, which helps me lean deeply into tough conversations. Progress rarely comes without friction. Pushback is a natural reaction to new ideas that challenge long-held beliefs. When I encounter an explosive response, I know I hit a nerve. More often than not, it means I’m sitting with someone who has been deeply harmed by diet culture or body-related trauma. Their nervous system goes into overdrive, grappling with how different things might have been for them—if only you had been their kindergarten teacher. It’s grief-stricken rage.

To be clear, this YouTuber is not engaging in conversation; he’s bullying and defaming. We will report and block. However, let’s use his actions to deepen our understanding of the resistance we face, refine our advocacy strategies, and fortify our resolve. Because next time, perhaps it will be an irate parent of one of your students, or a grandparent expressing concern over a child's weight gain, or a co-parent vigilantly monitoring "junk food" consumption.

While such interactions can be distressing, they also serve as poignant reminders that advocating for change in a culture steeped in stigma carries inherent risks. This doesn't mean we should remain silent—but it does underscore the importance of being prepared and resilient in our advocacy.

Understand the Liabilities and Safeguards

Bringing body-positivity into conversations with kids—whether at home or in the classroom—requires great care and finesse. Even when well-intentioned, these are nuanced messages that, if misinterpreted, can cause confusion and harm, especially with young minds. We need to anticipate the risks and equip ourselves with thoughtful language to effectively engage others in this important dialogue.

To support you in this endeavor, I’ll start by sharing my favorite, most effective disclaimer for engaging with people who are new to—or skeptical of—these ideas. Then, I’ll break down three common triggers that often spark strong, defensive reactions in these conversations. Finally, we’ll explore a “nuclear option” for building bridges and reducing harm when dealing with particularly Fat-fearing individuals.

Whether you are wearing your teacher or parent hat, I encourage you to draw inspiration from these practical examples to guide your conversations with body-positive skeptics and critics for years to come.

My Favorite, Most Effective Disclaimer:

“I tend to think differently than many when it comes to optimizing children's health and well-being. Sometimes, the way I talk about food and bodies gets misunderstood, so I want to make this part very clear: I am pro-health, which means I care about children's long-term ability to get their nutritional needs met in a balanced and sustainable way. I also believe that fostering a positive relationship with physical activity is crucial. If you hear me say things like “all bodies are good bodies” or “all food is good food”, please understand that these messages are strategically designed to optimize children’s potential for developing a healthy self-image and balanced relationship with food. This approach supports their physical and emotional well-being without fear, shame, or unnecessary restriction.”

Using such language doesn't guarantee universal buy-in, but it often helps to disarm skepticism, preemptively address common concerns, and open the door to more productive discussions.

Next up, we’ll dig into the pitfalls of three common statements that often spark strong, defensive reactions:

“All Food is Good Food”

"All Bodies Can Be Healthy"

"Your Body is Beautiful Exactly As It Is"

…and scripts for how to navigate each one of them, with clarity and confidence.

Also, that nuclear option I promised.